saucey | 百二; 「accidental video」

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百二; 「accidental video」

[When the feed starts, Hinamori's room in the clinic can be seen. Part of it, anyway. Part of Hinamori's bed is also in view, as well as Sasuke and Hitsugaya.

Except, Hitsugaya's sound asleep. Sasuke looks exhausted, himself, but it doesn't look like he's going to sleep anytime soon. Sasuke glances down at the sleeping shinigami resting on his shoulder and can't help but smile a little. Carefully, very carefully, Sasuke moves and wraps an arm around Hitsugaya's shoulders, giving him a slightly more comfortable place to sleep.]

'Bout time you got some rest, Toushirou.

[The feed times out.]

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[Big ass sigh of relief, and he relaxes his grip, but still holding the shinigami.]

Thank god...

[She sits back up, echoing his relieved sigh, though still looking worried. She knows she was probably at least part of the cause--and looks miserable about this.]

[The feeling that he was missing something important was overwhelming. He didn't even remember falling asleep. His gaze moved from Sasuke to Hinamori back to Sasuke, a brow raising as if to ask the awkward question for him.]

Uchiha...?

[Just the faintest tug of his lips.]

You were having a bad nightmare, Toushirou.

[She puts on a bit of a smile, trying to be reassuring too.] We were worried.

[Confusion quickly morphed into resentment, and despite the other two's meager attempts at smiles, Hitsugaya's frown only deepened into a grimace.]

That's nothing to worry about.

[Have a forehead flick.]

Says the one still clinging to my shirt.

[He's being nice, dammit, don't make him get up and walk off.]

[He blinked. Once, twice, three times - just for good measure. Sasuke had just flicked his forehead. Why the hell had Sasuke just flicked his forehead?

Slowly, his eyes moved down from Sasuke's face to his shirt ... which he was still holding. He promptly let go, a soft pink tinging his cheeks. This would be the moment he realized he was in the same bed as you, Sauce.]

Like I said, you were having a nightmare. You nearly tore my shirt off, too. Was it that bad?

[Genuinely curious and worried. He wants to help.]

[His eyes narrowed as his lips pressed into a tight line. He let his hand drop to the mattress, fingers loosely clenched.]

It doesn't matter. It wasn't real.

[A sigh as he just sits up.]

Do you remember when I first came here last year, I couldn't sleep? I couldn't sleep because I was having nightmares. They get bad, Hitsugaya. Just let me worry about the closest friend I've got.

[He remembered, and he'd gone back to see the conversation again more than once before. But what he was thinking about now had nothing to do with that. More than anything else, what Sasuke said reminded him of that dragon in the wastes and the fact that no matter what he'd tried, he hadn't been able to convince Sasuke to stop worrying.]

...I've seen worse in reality, Uchiha.

[He looks back, but he isn't looking at Hitsugaya.]

Me too.

Something obviously happened to have given you them in the first place. Why don't you want to tell me? Because I'll worry?

[He was quiet for a moment, a heavy silence. Yeah, Sasuke had seen worse. Perhaps Hitsugaya had seen more through sheer time and the experience of war, but Uchiha Sasuke's losses were stacked high and they were stacked close. Hitsugaya had never had much of a family to lose, but just the one was enough. And Hinamori had woken up.

Finally, he just sighed.]

It's my problem.

[Deflates a little. He's tired, but he kinda has the urge to...walk out. But he won't. He hopes that he doesn't have to, either. He looks away again before speaking.]

Something as trivial as that doesn't stop me from telling you about my problems. It just means I trust you that much.

[Oh, ouch. It wasn't quite a visible cringe, but the mental recoil was there. Only the slightly twinge at the edge of his expression revealed the abrupt derailing of his train of thought. Trusting someone and dumping your own burdens on their shoulders were two different things.

...And it was something else entirely to admit to such a patheticly childish whim like a bad dream.

After another short silence, his fist tightened, pressing deeper into the mattress.]

...I failed. Again. That's all there is to it.

[Hinamori shakes her head, breaking into the conversation again, shooting an apologetic glance at Sasuke as she sits up a little.] If anyone failed... it was me. Not you.

It's not like it's the end of the world. Mistakes...happen. We did what we could. Even if, sometimes, it's just...never enough.

Hinamori...

[But by the time he finished her name, he wasn't sure what else to say. That whether she failed or not, it wouldn't have made a difference? That Aizen had probably set her up, used her to put Madara under his complete hypnosis?]

Aizen wasn't the one who died. You didn't fail.

[That, he believed, said it all. But Sasuke compelled him to continue. There was no point in holding back anymore.]

I did nothing.

But I made you worry, and now these nightmares, and making you worry, Sasuke-kun and making Unohana worry, and...

And besides, what kind of protector dies on the person they're protecting?

You weren't involved. What could you have done?

[Sasuke run's a hand through his hair and just...weakly smiles. A sad smile.

Then, he does look back at Hitsugaya as his hand limply falls to his side.]

Sometimes all we find ourselves doing is nothing, even if he want to do something. It's all I've been feeling lately, anyway.

But she's right. You getting hurt would have caused a chain reaction. It's best to have one person stuck in the clinic than three...or more.

Hinamori. Uchiha.

[It meant "Shut up."

Breathe in, breathe out. He couldn't understand how they didn't see it; he wasn't sure he wanted them to. Self-pity was not a road he needed to travel, not now and not anytime in the foreseeable future. But with a lieutenant who wasn't sure she could follow him, the closest person he had to family following his enemy, and a great deal more failures than successes marring his record, the numbers spoke for themselves.

And now he had been caught having a nightmare, of all things. For them to get this worked up over him...

Hinamori was first, as he turned to face her.]

You weren't involved either, Hinamori. Not until you chose to be. The moment you made your choice, you sealed your fate. So long as you don't regret your choice, you did nothing wrong.

[And then Sasuke.]

I won't be a liability, Uchiha. You know very well that if I had my way, I would the only one in that bed. You would do the same; you have. If it weren't for you, I would have remained oblivious.

[Because you definitely did something, Sasuke. Hitsugaya had been thrown off of the trail so easily, and it was only thanks to Sasuke that he knew what had happened at all, that he hadn't arrived even later.]

If that's all...

Because that's the better choice, right? [He isn't happy at all, and it shows right away - how quickly his mood changes.]

If you had you way, you wouldn't be the only one fucking hospitalized and you fucking know it!

[Well, yes. It was the better choice. He would have switched places with Hinamori in a heart beat if he'd been able, just as he would have done for Sasuke, as he'd succeeded in doing once.

He was on the verge of countering (when did Sasuke get so angry about this?), telling him he would have just had to stop anyone else who wanted to go in after him, but Sasuke was one of those people who would have done just that. That would have been as good as saying that even after Sasuke had gotten him back on track, he would've been willing to ditch him and leave him helpless on the path outside. Maybe the problem here was that he really would have been willing.

His tone when he answered was subdued but firm.]

I won't sit back and do nothing but argue with politicians who don't know what they want.

[And that's what shocked him. His eyes widened. Did he just call him...a politician? Did Sasuke even act like one? Fuck no.

They've known each other for how long and a simple shinigami couldn't pick up on that much? Seriously? He thought better of you, Hitsugaya. He really, really did.

But calling him a politician? Pisses him off more than anything. He hated politics, for fuck's sake.]

Politician? Do I look like a fucking politician to you!? I hate politics, what gives you the fucking right to call me one!?

I know what I fucking want! I want my friends to be safe since they keep fucking leaving on me! [His fists clench here, his knuckles turning white as he retrains himself from physically lashing out.]

I thought I knew you better; I thought you knew me better than that after a year, but I guess I was wrong.

[Sasuke stops for a brief moment to take a deep breath before his fists unclench and getting to his feet.]

Want the bed to yourself that badly? Fine. You can have it.

[And he's walking out the door.]

Edited 2010-07-06 18:51 (UTC)

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